Lyft Is Offering Monthly Subscriptions So You Can Lyft Everywhere

If you're the type of person who pretends your ride-sharing app is actually your own personal chauffeur named Jeeves, then Lyft has the service for you.

The ride-sharing giant just announced a new subscription plan—for $299 a month, you get access to 30 rides of $15 or less, according to TechCrunch.

Assuming you actually take 30 Lyfts a month (and they all cost around 15 bucks) then it's actually a pretty good deal; you're getting roughly 33 percent off of your monthly Lyft bill. But there are some caveats: If your ride costs more than $15, you pay the difference. And if you take more than 30 rides in a month, then the extras are only discounted a measly five percent. And unlike those annoying AT&T commercials, these rides do not rollover.

With a plan that promises "No parking. No guesswork," it seems like Lyft is offering its service as an alternative to owning a car, especially in urban areas. Given that the average monthly car payment is now $523, an all-time high according to CNBC, Lyft's plan could serve as a significantly cheaper—if imperfect—alternative to copping that new Tesla.

This service got us thinking… Who are these people taking 30 Lyfts a month? And what would you do if you could ride-share once a day? We came up with three scenarios that people trying out the service could easily find themselves in.

We've all been there—hitting the snooze button one time too many, waking up in a panic/daze and then hustling your ass off just to get to the office 30 minutes late. Buuuuuuut… if you had a Lyft subscription, it'd be hard to pass up a free ride to work in the back of a stranger's Honda Civic. In fact, it'd make waking up late less of a tragic inconvenience and more of an everyday luxury. Forget long commutes trapped in crowded subway cars with no way to refresh Twitter—with the Lyft subscription, you could appease that lazy devil on your shoulder telling you to sleep in… for free. Well, not free, but $299 a month doesn't sound so bad when you're hitting "snooze" on your alarm clock, trust me.

To be real, this is who the Lyft subscription was probably meant for: The responsible urbanite who uses the plan to make their life easier. This is the person who knows exactly how many rides they have left for the month, how many places they have to go and works out their Lyft schedule in advance. This is the person whose weekly calendar looks like this:

Tuesday: Lyft to Doctor's office.

Thursday: Lyft to Costco for industrial-size bag of gummy bears.

Friday: Lyft to and from Mark's party. Reminder: if you forget to buy a gift, give him the industrial-size bag of gummy bears.

Saturday: Lyft to Costco for *another* industrial-size bag of gummy bears.

Yeah, let's be honest with one another. This is a lot more likely than any of us want to admit. Thirty rides a month is a lot, and if you just kinda let it slide, you're gonna be stuck with a lot of extra rides to take in the last few days of the month. You're gonna be sitting at home on the last weekend of October, drinking some coffee, playing your Nintendo Switch. And then all of the sudden—you remember your Lyft subscription.

Next thing you know, you're spending your weekends taking trips to museums, to hangout with friends you haven't seen in years, to visit your grandma, to go to IKEA for the fifth time this week. Sure, it's a swift kick in the ass for doing nothing all month, but now your $299 a month isn't making your life easier, it's making it more hectic than you thought possible. And all because you thought you needed 30 Lyfts a month.

Whatever you do, don't be this guy. Lyft is a lot like everything in life—you gotta know your limits.