But would the act of maintaining a tidier room produce a tidier mind? Well, according to Harvard Business Review, clutter is a productivity killer. Last year, “workplace stress” cost American businesses up to $190 billion, and an untidy station is one of the serious culprits for causing this expensive anxiety. Assuming an ecological view of clutter, a group of psychologists conducted a study to find the correlation between household clutter and procrastination, deducing that an overwhelming number of possessions can bring on “negative emotions” and “impaired social ability.”
Although a messy desk is often indicative of a creative mind, it can also point to one’s lack of discipline and work ethic. It was time for me to stop making excuses for being a slob and grab some trash bags and cardboard boxes.
When I finally started my purge, I discovered that I owned some less-than-savory items that were overdue for a trip to the pavement. I could hear Kondo in my head as I dangled a pair of five-year-old shoes in front of me. No, Marie—I don’t think these smelly Vans with eight holes spark joy for me anymore. To the trash they go!
Many tough decisions were made that day, but perhaps the most excruciatingly difficult call to make was determining the fate of my beloved college-dorm Nacho Libre poster. As I held it in my hand, I could feel Kondo whispering in my ear: It is time to let go. Au revoir, Jack Black in stretchy pants! Till we meet again. Little did I know that following her advice would spin my dreams into a terrifying vision.
Marie Kondo, or who I now presume to be her evil twin sister, visited my dream world the night of my tidying session. Barreling into my room without a word, she plunged violently into a cleaning frenzy. The first victim was my Nintendo 64. With one swing of her tiny arm, it was launched high into the stratosphere, magically filtering through my ceiling. Who knew the queen of clean’s doppelgänger had such latent superhuman strength?